Is your partner overwhelming you with love? - EDU

Is your partner overwhelming you with love?

In the confusing world of dating, there's a lot that can go wrong. More often than not, it's the "things are not working out" dialogue that grips the relationship. But what if that situation were to turn itself on the head? What if things were "working out a little too well"?

If you still haven't got the drift, have you ever found yourself dating someone whose feelings were a little too overwhelming, to put it mildly? Or have you ever been with someone who's in too much of a hurry to "see the future" with you? If you're nodding in a 'yes', you know how suffocating and irritating a new relationship like that can be.

Now, psychologists suggest that beyond being irritating, such a relationship can also lead to emotional manipulation, which never ends well.

This whole idea of one of the two partners being too involved, too early on in a relationship, than the other, and nudging the other person to feel the same, is called Love Bombing. But before we go any further, here are some signs you ought to watch out for, in a new relationship, if you think you're being love-bombed:

1. Him/her saying the "L word" a little too early in the relationship. A couple of dates cannot be the basis for "love".

2. He/she is buying you expensive gifts too early on in the relationship, particularly when there's no occasion.

3. He/she's planning vacations already, way into the future.

4. Discussing life plans or kids too early on.

Emotional repercussions of being love-bombed:

Though there could be more ways that someone could try to love-bomb you, here are the biggest repercussions of falling into this weird "love" ditch.

Most love-bombers are desperate for a relationship. They're needy, depressed, and they're looking for someone to fill up their emptiness, which only goes on to mean that they would dump you, or find another obsession, the day they feel fulfilled by your emotions, or their emotional needs are fulfilled.

Another type of love-bomber is the narcissist sociopath type, the kind of person who devises strategies to control the other person. It's almost a conscious ploy to gain favour and power with a partner, regardless of how they truly feel about them. Such a partner could thus end up being controlling, verbally abusive or even violent.

What can you do about it?

If you really like the person you've just gotten into a relationship with, experts suggest that the best way is to sit them down and have an honest conversation. Tell them that this is moving too fast for you, and that you'd like for the relationship to continue, but probably at a slower pace.

Above all, make sure there are at least a couple of people in your life who know about this person you're dating, and have met him or her in person.

If you do feel as much in love, however--even if it's too early by normal dating standards--don't shy away from feelings. Sometimes, people do fall for each other too quickly. Just make sure those feelings are mutual, and that you're not being manipulated into or being guilted into a relationship.

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