In the confusing world of
dating, there's a lot that can go wrong. More often than not, it's the
"things are not working out" dialogue that grips the relationship.
But what if that situation were to turn itself on the head? What if things were
"working out a little too well"?
If you still haven't got the
drift, have you ever found yourself dating someone whose feelings were a little
too overwhelming, to put it mildly? Or have you ever been with someone who's in
too much of a hurry to "see the future" with you? If you're nodding
in a 'yes', you know how suffocating and irritating a new relationship like
that can be.
Now, psychologists suggest
that beyond being irritating, such a relationship can also lead to emotional
manipulation, which never ends well.
This whole idea of one of the
two partners being too involved, too early on in a relationship, than the
other, and nudging the other person to feel the same, is called Love Bombing.
But before we go any further, here are some signs you ought to watch out for,
in a new relationship, if you think you're being love-bombed:
1. Him/her saying the
"L word" a little too early in the relationship. A couple of dates
cannot be the basis for "love".
2. He/she is buying you
expensive gifts too early on in the relationship, particularly when there's no
occasion.
3. He/she's planning
vacations already, way into the future.
4. Discussing life plans or
kids too early on.
Emotional repercussions of being love-bombed:
Though there could be more
ways that someone could try to love-bomb you, here are the biggest
repercussions of falling into this weird "love" ditch.
Most love-bombers are
desperate for a relationship. They're needy, depressed, and they're looking for
someone to fill up their emptiness, which only goes on to mean that they would
dump you, or find another obsession, the day they feel fulfilled by your
emotions, or their emotional needs are fulfilled.
Another type of love-bomber
is the narcissist sociopath type, the kind of person who devises strategies to
control the other person. It's almost a conscious ploy to gain favour and power
with a partner, regardless of how they truly feel about them. Such a partner
could thus end up being controlling, verbally abusive or even violent.
What can you do about it?
If you really like the
person you've just gotten into a relationship with, experts suggest that the
best way is to sit them down and have an honest conversation. Tell them that
this is moving too fast for you, and that you'd like for the relationship to
continue, but probably at a slower pace.
Above all, make sure there
are at least a couple of people in your life who know about this person you're
dating, and have met him or her in person.
If you do feel as much in
love, however--even if it's too early by normal dating standards--don't shy
away from feelings. Sometimes, people do fall for each other too quickly. Just
make sure those feelings are mutual, and that you're not being manipulated into
or being guilted into a relationship.
No comments:
Post a Comment